My first blog

I'm currently writing a book titled The Care and Feeding of a Girlfriend.  It's a pretty funny book, I think.  Throughout, I make comparisons between getting a puppy and getting a girlfriend.  Believe me, puppies are easier, and for many things, even better.  But we all think we should have a girlfriend (or a boyfriend for that matter if you're so inclined).  I had them, but I wasn't too good at keeping them.  I made lots of mistakes. Luckily, mistakes give us opportunities to learn, if we take them.  It took me a long time to learn my lessons.  The good thing is that you don't have to learn them the hard way like I did.  All you have to do is read my book, and avoid the common blunders that I and others have made.  Sounds easy, doesn't it? 

Here's a sample excerpt... see what you think:

“What sort of things do girlfriends like that will take my time?”

Good question… I’m glad you asked.  They like for you to sit down with them and ask them about their day, preferably without the TV on behind them so you can watch the news surreptitiously while they’re talking.  They will probably want to hear about your day too, as long as you don’t complain too much.  They might want to get together with other couples and have them over to the house.  You’ll probably have to help clean up the place a little.  She may want you to take her out to dinner occasionally and out on a date.  She still likes romantic dates every now and again.  You might even want to do something romantic at home like prepare her a nice bath, light some candles, and play romantic music.  You’ll have to think of things all the time to keep things fresh and spontaneous, and yes, romantic.  Girlfriends like that sort of thing.

If you’re not into romance, try going the puppy route instead.  You don’t have to romance them.  They generally frown on romance.  You don’t have to take them out to dinner either.  As a matter of fact, unless you get the one or two dogs in the world who are finicky eaters, your dog will chow down the exact same thing day after day after day and always act like you’re the greatest chef that ever lived.  They would never believe that Emeril can actually cook better than you. This meal takes on average one minute for you to put the food in her bowl and then step out of the way so you don’t get run over.  You can even have the bag of food delivered to your door so you don’t have to spend any time shopping for it.